Home and Away RECAP: Ryder and Chloe’s foodtruck, La Cucaracha has gone up in flames

La Cucaracha has gone up in flames and thanks to the power of slow motion, the explosion is so powerful it nearly obliterates the Zanerobe logo off Ryder’s top.

Luckily he has a backpack to cushion his fall.

The same can’t be said for Jasmine and Marilyn who are cruel victims of wrong place at the wrong time, only identified by objects associated with their characters. For Jas, it’s a green water bottle that coordinates with her activewear and poor Marilyn has lost one of her Louboutin shoes.

I’m not even sure that the foot belongs to Maz because when have we ever seen her in a plain black dress?

Chloe must be mixed up in this too.

Indeed another disaster has rocked the close knit community of Summer Bay and who will pull through is anyone’s guess.

The bay managed to go a full 18 months without a death and in the space of a week Susie’s lifeless body has washed up, and if Jasmine (my favourite) is dead I’ll be in Queen Victoria level mourning for the rest of my days.

Jas can’t even order a breakfast burrito without getting blown up.

In good news, it appears the producer has spared Leah from her millionth tragedy.

La Cucaracha which translates to “the cockroach” has been a point of contention since its fruition and there’s a lot of talk that its catastrophic demise is not a coincidence.

Ryder and Chloe started up their business when Mac was at peak insanity and was enraged to find tasty Mexican treats being handed out just a stones through from her establishment, Salt.

Alf also is also the funds behind the new venture. As if he needed another reason to be cranky.

However the 29 minutes before this had no relation to the explosion whatsoever.

Christian aka Budget McDreamy (BM) noticed Jasmine giving him the ol’stink eye in the diner the other day when he was playing happy families the Rachel, the girl from the skydiving accident, and not his fiancé, Tori.

“You’ve clearly got something on your mind so I suggest you say it,” BM says to Jasmine in a particularity gruff tone.

He immediately goes on the defence and yells out he’s not engaged anymore and hurries off to the hospital to get his flirt on.

Rachel is ready to have her brace removed and leave hospital.

“There’s nothing to be afraid of, this is what we’ve been working towards, getting you home,” BM says.

“I’m pretty sure it would mean I wouldn’t see as much as you,” Rachel says as she reaches for BM’s hand.

BM recoils.

“I thought this was what you wanted as well,” Rachel says.

It’s a red flag.

Leading on some poor woman that you jilted your fiancé for only to bail on her when she’s ready. And what, Tori’s supposed to be ok with taking him back after he’s finished with Rachel?

“This was never meant to be romantic,” BM says.

No wonder he’s single at his age. Afraid of commitment.

Meanwhile Roo is staring in the abyss contemplating what to do about Kieran.

She opens the letter Kieran wrote for his mum, Martha, and the voice of Kieran reads said letter while scenes of him sitting alone play.

“I just want to be a better man and the son you deserve.” The letter says.

Roo is brought to tears by the surprisingly sincere note.

But devil’s advocate here: as if a lifelong problem with alcoholism and domestic violence can be “cured” in a few weeks. So if it was real life I’d say send him back to rehab. But this is a show and he’s a single man so there’s ample opportunity for his character to strike up a romance.

Next thing Roo is making up a bed for Kieran on the couch because all the vans are full…so looks like he’s sticking around for a while.

Finally, the exhibition or not the exhibition because that young and naive Nikau doesn’t make it because he’s waiting for a non-existent limo to arrive and take him back to Summer Bay and in the meantime he’s be lured into some swanky multimillion Sydney pad with harbour views with Sienna and a bottle of Dom.

Sienna tells some sop story about “falling for a photographer” aka Emmett in her younger years but alludes that he had a wandering eye.

“A good frame wasn’t the only thing he had an eye for,” Sienna says.

Nik grows anxious about missing his girlfriend’s exhibition, which is basically an ode to Nikau’s brooding look which Ryder says it just Nik thinking about what to eat.

Back at the exhibition, Bella can’t find her phone, because Allegra has it, and still doesn’t know why Nik is so late. Emmett grabs onto her cheeks in what is meant to be a sign of affection and comfort but it’s just very weird while Allegra takes a snap to use as blackmail.

Nik is devastated when Sienna shows him the pic.

“That’s what Emmett’s like,” Sienna says.

“He’s always had a thing for his muses.”

Sienna leans in for a veryyyy long time and eventually her lips meet Nik’s.

The next morning it’s clear they’ve slept together and Nik wants to make a quick escape.

“I need to go,” Nik says.

“You saw the photos, you had every right to be with me last night,” Sienna says.

My prediction is that Nik will tell Bella about the affair because there’s no way he could handle the guilt. Bella won’t forgive him because she has trust issues and it will take them ages to realise it was all an elaborate setup and eventually they’ll get back together.